I miss my cousin but she hasn't gone anywhere?

i love my cousin to death. and i know she loves me back. when we were younger, we'd always play barbies together or play mums and dads or climb tree's together. when i think back on it, it puts me in tears because i miss her so much!! she's 3 years older than me but it didn't matter when we were younger because we were always best friends. i remember at her 10th birthday she gave me a locket that said best friends forever. i was 4 and she was 7 when we played with each other and stopped when she reached about 11. now she's 18 and i'm 15. my life just seemed so happy and fun when she was in it. why do i miss her so much? how come it's so hard to get over? she's so beautiful in every way. she's always defended me and took care of me in times of need. i miss the smell of her, her laugh, her jokes and her cute smile. am i over dramatic? i love her so much!